It was interesting, the other day, when only hours after using this phrase to describe the (somewhat) inebriated condition of a mutual acquaintance, I read an article commenting that “no one” today uses the term anymore. I suppose it’s another example of why generalizations generally don’t work; the observation was obviously incorrect, as I’d just used the term!

It sparked my curiosity, however; where did the term come from? I strongly suspected that it had a nautical reference, as I believed that a “sheet” referred to the sail of the old ships that plied the oceans of the previous era. Research showed that I was right … and wrong.

Sheets aren’t the SAILS, as I’d believed, but rather, the ropes that hold the sails in place. The old ships used square sails, so they had four “sheets” holding each sail; one at each corner. When all four sheets were properly secured, the sail was stable “to the wind”.

(A minor digression, “to the wind” means to be pushed or taken by the wind and moved in the direction the wind it blowing. If you toss your hat into the air on a windy day, the wind will catch it and blow it away – that would be “throwing your hat to the wind”.)

When one of the sheets comes loose, it will flap to the wind, along with the corner of the sail. The movement is completely unproductive in terms of propelling the ship. In terms of drinking, this would be mildly unstable with minor loss of coordination. (And, yes, the term “a sheet to the wind” was used to describe this mildly drunken condition.)

With two sheets to the wind, there is a significant loss of usefulness of the sail, as much of it just flaps randomly where-ever the wind may push it. In drinking, this would be significant loss of coordination and stability.

With three sheets to the wind, the sail looses usefulness completely – it just flaps around, making noise … and possibly causing damage (usually to itself). This would be seriously drunk on the inebriation scale, unable to walk without reeling, slurred speech and so on.

There is even a term FOUR sheets to the wind! Now, what do you think happens to a sail when all four sheets came undone? Yes … the sail would be GONE. In terms of drinking, the person would be “gone”; at best, unconscious, possibly dead.

To put this into personal perspective, since I don’t consume alcoholic beverages, I reach a “sheet to the wind” with a single sip of wine, and “three sheets” with a one or two glasses of wine. Yeah, OK … I’d be a cheap drunk – if I drank.

Today, we use blood-alcohol concentration to indicate a persons level of drunkenness. The sailors of yesteryear simply had their own scale that worked for them, relating, as it did, to something they utilized every working day: SHEETS.